I Carry Your Heart

Longest trip of my young life.

It was crazy fun.

• We got stuck in the rain which was fun for five minutes. 
• The FDR memorial was so moving.
• I spent a lot of time with some of the people I love.
• We were way over booked so we saw some crazy crazy awesome stuff. (but it was a lot for a weekend)
• We marched by the fucking Capitol and Washington Monument in front of thousands of people. It was fucking cray.
• Plus I watching Singing in the Rain on the bus with Hayls.

It was awesome. Nuts and stressful and sweaty. But watching the Emperor’s New Groove and sleeping :)

All I want is him.

He said as we were walking home thathe wished I could just keep walking to his house and we would just go sleep on his couch until after our dumb concert tonight. God how I wish that was possible. Ever since he said that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that. About us on his couch, cuddled up against each other, and being able to just listen to his heart beat as I slept.

If only..

Here, have the shirt off my back.

And while I’m at it, would you like me to lie down so you can step on me too?

Well, it’s been fun, but please leave now.

every-thoughts-a-whisper:

I really wish I could say I think I’m pretty/beautiful. But I can’t. I don’t really compare myself to my friends. But I can’t help but compare myself to my sisters. Perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect this, perfect that. Then here’s me. I’m the short, obnoxious, depressed, fair skinned, stupid one.

It sucks. It really, really sucks.

I like to pretend on the outside that I do in fact think I’m beautiful and self confident. I’ve never cared about what others think of me. But I care what I think of me, and I’ve never been 100% confident with myself. I’m the heaviest kid in my family. I’m the most awkward. The one with the most flaws. And everyone teases me, but doesn’t realize that it hurts me more than that.

every-thoughts-a-whisper:

I wish I didn’t live with all these self-centered, arrogant people. I want to leave this town and never look back.

you.

I wish you were here with me now. To cuddle with me on my couch while I watch this dumb movie. To kiss my hair and pull me close to you. To trace circles on my arms while I fall asleep. To kiss me awake and murmur that you love me.

There once was a girl

who constantly felt

like the weight of the world

was all she was delt.

Frequently plagued 

with problems and tears

she helped her friends cope

with all of their fears.

At the end of the day

while everyone slept,

she stayed awake

and wept and wept.

With music blaring

into her ears

she was left alone

with only her fears.

There was always someone

different each night

who reminded her that

it would all be alright.

And then in the morning

she would awake,

all that was left

was a large headache.

Thank god for that person,

whoever it may be,

without him or her,

she would still grieve

Maybe for herself,

or for what might have been,

but in those dark nights

she just can’t win.

And suddenly I’m nothing again.

I won’t admit it, but it hurts.

Major shot to my self esteem. But only on the inside.

Don’t apologize for your physical actions when it’s your words that hurt.

Someone needs to tell boys this. 

All is fair in love and war.

Bullshit. Bull. Shit. Two of my friends had a really rocky two year relationship and they just broke up. Okay. My boyfriend is best friends with the guy, and I’m good friends with him; and I’ve known the girl and been okay friends with her since fifth grade. So what happens now? I just don’t even know. Because I”m trying not to take sides, but it’s getting freaking miserable. I can’t even state my unbiased opinion without being accused of taking sides. And they both really trust my advice so they ask it, but I have to alter it if I don’t want it to bite me in the ass. And that sucks.